American Liquor labels fro the Holidays

[eSPO]

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor
manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following
warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol
containers:

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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that
ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the
morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real
gode.